How I Never Thought I Could Fall for a Romance Scam…but I Did

You always believe it won't happen to you, until it does

We’ve all heard stories of online scammers romancing women in Malaysia, usually Nigerian or African scammers stealing someone else’s photos and using it as their own, then cheating unsuspecting lovelorn women out cheating them of their money. I, single-woman in her 30’s, had been doing online dating for many years, and met a lot of those men in person, locals as well as foreigners, without any trouble. Most of those meet-ups unfortunately mostly did not turn into a relationship, those that did, did not last long for various reasons. I’d come across men online whom I quickly figured out were scammers and ceased contact with them, and thought I was on top of the game when it came to avoiding scammers. I am well educated, working a well paid job and regularly read about all the tricks they use…usually posing as white men, sometimes men in the military as those uniforms always impress the ladies. They’d try to win you over by revealing their love for you early…and if you were desperate, you would fall for it. Some men had tried with me and failed because their love confession came too early and it was unrealistic. I was looking for love, but did not make me desperate or stupid enough to fall for such silly tactics. Bad experiences had actually made me very picky and generally untrusting of men, hence the number of guys I agreed to meet has dropped a lot over time. I thought with my level of waryness towards the male species, identifying a scammer would be no problem for me. 

Until I met Derry Johnstone online. Or the scammer who called himself that. Even after knowing the common tricks, and having suspicions that it was a scam, the fact that the scammer had OTHER ACTORS working with him and even BACKGROUND SOUND EFFECTS to match what I thought was happening made it EXTREMELY convincing, and even when I had evidence that it was a scam, I chose to ignore the warning signs because the acting and sound effects were so convincing. For some women, this could have resulted in them losing their life savings. For me, because I strongly suspected I was being scammed but was already emotionally hooked, I lost slightly less than a month’s salary. It’s not so bad, but the fact that the scam was that elaborate made me decide to share this story.  

How I Met the Scammer

In early April 2015 on the dating website I commonly use, OKCupid (however, this can happen on through ANY dating site), I saw a profile of an attractive Caucasian man using the handle, dstoneage.

Some of the photos he used on his profile. Dreamy, eh?:

I decided to message him, he soon messaged me back and we hit it off and  He introduced himself as Derry. He claimed to be mixed Scottish-Serbian and had been working in KL for the past 4 months, buying and selling antiques from Malaysia to US and UK and intending to register a company in Malaysia.  

Soon I gave him my number so we proceeded to chat on Whatsapp and eventually over the phone. He had a sexy voice and a strong Australian accent, and he explained that that is because he grew up in Australia. Since he sounded nothing like an African, I didn’t suspect anything. Our conversations throughout the chat were so convincing, so his acting was VERY good. 

He revealed his supposed last name as Johnstone:

His Whatsapp profile pic. More pics made his scam more convincing.

Early on in the chat, he changed his contact number, claiming that he had lost his phone. It occurred to me that changing his number sounds like something a scammer might do after a hit, but I ignored that warning sign too and continued chatting. He also sent me a couple more photos of himself on Whatsapp, which was the same person as per his online dating profile. 

Other photos he sent me of himself during our Whatsapp conversation to make me swoon. One he claimed he took after a spraining his back at the gym:

And another while he was supposedly out looking for stuff to buy (yeah, that colour combination is like what):

I had asked to Skype with him, but he claimed he never used it before and was busy, so I didn’t push it. This is also a warning sign, if a person you met online refuses to video chat with you, he/she might not be the person behind the photos.

The Scammer's Fake Business Trip

And a couple of weeks of chatting, he claimed to be travelling in Miri, Sarawak to buy antiques. 

He intended to be there only few days, but over the course of our chat, he claimed his stay got extended longer than he had planned as he found many antiques to buy. He also claimed to be staying at the Marriot Hotel (this is a 5 star hotel, and a method of impressing women to believe he has lots of money), updating me on what he did and we continued chatting. 

He also sent me some photos of the antiques he claimed to have bought:

One day, he said he was trying to buy an antique vase from a lady but couldn’t speak the language so he couldn’t do the sale. I then offered to help by speaking to the lady next time he met her, and he was happy at my suggestion coz’ it didn’t occur to him. The next day, when he was purportedly at the shop, he asked me to help talk over the phone to a Malay female shop owner to haggle the price of the vase, which was being sold at a whopping RM12,000 (again, another fake sign that he has a lot of money to spend). I managed to convince this lady, to lower the price. This convinced me further he was doing legitimate business, however I now know that this lady was just another actress

Using Sob Stories to Lead Me to Trust Him

Throughout our chat, he was not pushy or being unrealistically romantic, which is typical of romance scammers that reveal their undying love for women early on, and desperate woman would fall for it but I would have found that unusual and scary. He just told me interesting and funny stories of his stay here, some of the culture shock he experienced travelling to a village to buy antiques and learning to eat with his hands like the Malays. He also told me over the phone how he had difficulty talking to people because local people couldn't understand his accent... how everytime he met people in KL, he couldn't make permanent friends because they were most travelers coming for a few days then flying off again... how he met two women here who he got close to but it didn’t work out as one wanted him to convert to Islam, which he refused because he’s a Christian, and another turned out to be a ladyboy which he could not recognize because he was a foreigner. The way he told the stories sounded so sincere so I felt sorry for him. 

He also talked about how nice it would be to have someone (like me) to motivate him to wake up early, coz' he usually sleeps late. Plus he had a nice kitchen in his rented place in KL and would be great to have someone (like me) make a nice homecooked meal every now and then, coz' he was tired of eating outdoors but not much of cook himself. Subtle ways of putting the idea in my head that he needed a woman in his life and that I could be that one special person. 

Soon he was calling me ‘dear’ and ‘darling’, which I usually prefer guys not to call me that too early in the relationship, but because I felt connected with him, I let my guard down and started calling him the same, something I rarely do with guys I have not met in person, which shows just how convincing he was. Essentially he figured out what pace I was comfortable with and worked at my pace, not rushing to be too romantic like some scammers do. It was all very clever. If I could meet a guy who was honest and meant all of things he had said to me, I'd probably be the happiest woman ever. How frustrating it is that men who know how to say the right things to woman use that ability to be a cheating jackass.

The Lure of the Flashy Car

On 28 April, he told me he intended to rent a car when he got back to KL so he could do his business registration easily. He sent me photos of the car he intended to rent, a very flashy looking BMW convertible (again, another tactic to convince me he was rich) through his email address, derry_johnstone@yahoo.com. He included a forwarded email from the supposed car rental dealer. After the scam, I later tested the email address of the supposed car dealer and found it to be non-existent. 

Again, it is common for scammers to use such tactics to make women believe they have plenty of money. I've actually dated men who have little or no money, so I was not as interested in his money as I was his personality. Though of course, the lure of a good lifestyle would be a good extra bonus for any woman. 

The Lead Up to the Money Scam

On the days leading up to the trap to get my money, Derry told me that he was almost done buying all the antiques he needed and was looking for licensed person to ship the antiques. Reason he had to do it through another person is because he had not registered his business.

He claimed to have tried talking to a few shipment dealers, but deal did not go through due the high price which he did not want to pay. 

During this time, he said he had stayed much longer in Miri than initially intended, he said he had run out of clothes, was getting tired of being there and just wanted to come back to KL, and of course wanted to meet me. 

In the conversation below, he explains the supposed complications of him getting the shipment for his antiques: 

Oscar Winning Con Job Day

1st May 2015 was the day Derry fooled me of my money, with the help of several actors and good background sound effects to make his story convincing. I would have never believed a romance scammer would go through that extent to make his story believeable, until that day!

He claimed to plan to fly back from Miri to KL the same day after doing his shipment of the antiques he bought, and asked me to pick me up from KL Sentral around 7pm. 

He left to the shipping company in the morning, but later called to say he was having problems as the lady in charge required him to pay RM36,000 but he only had RM10,000 left on him. He said he would pay RM10,000 first and transfer the rest when he was in KL, but the lady refused and said minimum RM16,000 was needed upfront. I then helped to speak to the lady supposedly running the shipping company, her supposed name was Siti Aisyah. Over the phone, I could hear office background noise like phones ringing, so again this made me believe it was a real company. She was adamant that she needed an additional RM6000, and wanted it banked into her company driver’s account, under name of Abdan bin Munir with Maybank account no. 156226084446. 

Derry begged me to help otherwise he would miss his flight, and he had not more money to stay overnight and was very tired staying in Miri, plus he wanted to meet me badly. He claimed he had plenty of cash in his room in KL and could pay me back straight away. 

At this point, the suspicion of scam grew even more. I even called Marriot Hotel in Miri to ask if anyone named Derry Johnstone had checked into that hotel recently… and they said no. That was a big warning sign, yet I chose to ignore it because all other things prior made me still convinced his story was true and I thought maybe the hotel system no longer had his name on record since he checked out that day. Plus the fact that he made it out like he was in a very desperate situation with not even enough money left to stay the night and wanting to come back to KL made me feel sorry for him. Eventually, I caved and banked in RM4000, but not the complete RM6000 because of my pre-set bank transaction limit. I hoped that that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t. 

Later that day, Derry called and said he had further problems as he met a man named Kaiser who he thought was a customer at the shipping company, so Derry told his man he only paid RM10,000 plus the smaller sum I had backed in. The story became that Kaiser was actually Siti's business partner who was angry that Siti agreed to accept only less than half the full payment of RM36,000. Kaiser then took Derry's passport under pretense of wanting to photocopy it, but did not come back with it. Derry called me again and told me he now was being forced by Kaiser to make the full payment of RM36,000 or else he would not get back his passport, but he had no more money. He also gave me Kaiser's number to try and talk to him, which I did but he refused to negotiate. 

Derry told me he would try and pawn his watch with was worth about RM9000 (another sign of his purported wealth), and when I called him later, I heard the background noise was as if he was in a car. Although it seemed like a stressful situation and he had missed his flight, he actually showed concern for me, asking if I had had my dinner. Although he did not directly ask me for money, I made the next mistake of deciding to help him further coz’ I felt even more sorry for him. I contacted my bank and learned that I could increase my daily transaction limit to RM10,000. However, I only transfered RM3000 as I was not willing to give any more than one month of my salary, and my suspicions of this being a scam had escalated. Derry told me he was proud of me, another tactic to make me feel sorry for him.

Later that evening, after Derry supposedly had pawned the watch and paid Kaiser RM9000, he told me he still did not get his passport from Kaiser as there was still a large outstanding balance to be paid. Derry was forced to stay at a backpackers that night. The next morning on 2 May 2015, he called me at 6.00am, told me how tired he was and wanted to come home. He tried to romance me, but I was not in the mood and pretended to enjoy it to appease him. 

After that, I tested him by saying I had no more money and lied to him, saying I have a friend who can help pay, but my friend wanted to see evidence that what Derry was doing is legitimate, such as emails to clients, photo of the receipt he got for pawning the watch, shipping documents, etc. Derry got angry and said I was insulting me, trying to make me feel guilty for not trusting him. This was another big sign that he was lying as he reacted in anger rather than try to send some evidence.

Later in the afternoon, he claimed that he managed to get RM7000 from his clients and just need another RM3000 from me. I still refused, claiming I had no more money. He then got angry again and claimed he was doing to meet the guy and fight for his passport if needed to, but I still refused, claiming I simply could not help as I had no more money and lied further saying my father was dying in the hospital and I needed money for the operation. Derry was not very sympathetic but instead continued to focus on his ‘problem’. 


I tested him again through sms, claiming that since he had no wifi access, my friend wanted the password to his email address to verify what work he was doing, only after which my friend would be willing to pay. Derry got angry again. 

This was of course a very big sign of the scam as instead of doing what I asked, which was a small matter considering his 'desperate' situation, he got angry and tried to make me feel guilty, which didn't work. 

Around 7.30pm on 2 May 2015, I called him and when he picked up, I heard dramatic background noises like he was fighting with Kaiser to get the passport back. That was probably the pinnacle of the sound effects he used to con me.

After that the line went dead and his number was uncontactable since. However, I still see his profile as active on the dating site where we met but he does not answer my messages. 

The Law is POWERLESS to help Scam Victims

Naturally, I have made a police report and also reported to Maybank, but as expected, the police are slow to act. They asked me to provide a statement on 5 May, several days after the incident which gives the criminals plenty of time to change their contacts, take out the money, close the account and become untraceable. Maybank also cannot do anything to transfer the money back to me, even if I have records of my transfers. They won't even provide the details of the fucktard named Abdan bin Munir who owns the account, unless asked by the police. Telco companies cannot reveal any information on the details used to register the criminals’ mobile numbers unless the police request this info also. And we all know police in Malaysia are inept and slow at hunting down anyone (unless you're accused of sedition!). I know through research that Derry was using Maxis, while his hooligans, Siti and Kaiser were both using Digi. Even with this info, all we can do it wait for our inept authorities to take any action, if they will even bother! Scammers know this and take advantage of the inept behaviour of police as well as privacy laws that work to their favour. 

I hope this detailed story will help be aware again how sophisticated these scammers have become, to the extent of using other people as actors and background sound effects to sound convincing. If you have a met a person online, especially a good looking Caucasian (because scammers love using such pics to con Malaysian women), here are some tips to avoid being conned:

1) If you have suspicions, test it further by asking to video call the person, asking for them to send more photos of themselves where they claim to be. If they are unwilling to video call or unable to send more pics, this is a warning sign that they aren't the person behind the pics they have already sent.

2) Test their claims like what I did, calling the hotel to check if such a person had checked in, and checking the email of the fake car dealer he sent me… and do so before making any payments. If you ask for evidence and they react in anger, you know you are being scammed. 

I made the mistake of not questioning him further when I found out the hotel had no Derry Johnstone checked in, because I duped by the stressful situation he claimed to be in and I didn't want to make him more stressed... my heart took control of my head as in common in women, which was foolish. Don’t give up money to a person you've never met out of pity, and especially not for love. Losing almost one month’s salary is ok for me, but many other woman (and possibly men scammed by women) can easily lose their life savings and also have their heart broken in the process. 

Please share this story to all your female friends. I hope I can find the guy whose photos were used by this scammer as well, as he was equally a victim of identity theft.

Thank you.